Post by Tom Green on Feb 9, 2007 23:46:24 GMT -5
Anger Management Tips
Anger tip sheet
There are 3 broad styles of anger. The Exploder, The Passive-Aggressive, the Stuffer and though these styles of anger are unique in the way they present themselves the outcomes are usually the same.
Unresolved anger may be an underlying cause of many physical and emotional problems. People who use anger to get their way and force others to yield are affecting their own lives in many harmful ways. They soon find out that unrestrained hostility can be a costly, family and life-destroying habit. When angry people clear up resentments and bitterness in their lives, they resolve many of the other problems they are experiencing, particularly in their relationships at home at school, and at work.
Anger the Troublesome Emotion
Anger is a complex and confusing emotion, but much more than emotion. Since our primary awareness of anger is as an emotion, let’s start here. Anger is an emotion of displeasure, hurt, shame, pain, indignation, resentment, ill will, rancor, exasperation, or annoyance, all of which may range from mild to extreme. It manifests itself in criticizing, yelling, withdrawing, feelings of helplessness, shame, victimization, scorn, scolding, ridiculing, humiliating, despising, teasing, putting down, or more physical activity such as hitting, hurting, damaging, attacking, or in other ways bringing harm to the focus of one’s anger. With such a range of expression and outcomes, it is little wonder that we deny, cover, divert, displace, or seek to bury this troublesome emotion. The good news is that individuals can learn to manage anger and live a more peaceful and productive, purpose-filled life!
One may look at anger as an emotion that is experienced by the person, expressed verbally by the person, or acted out by the person.
The Components of Anger – these are the pieces of the puzzle when it comes to understanding the process of anger.
1. Trigger Events – these are situations that will cause us to become on edge like someone cutting you off in traffic.
2. Automatic Thoughts (usually irrational) – Once cut off you might begin to have some rather intense thoughts like, “This jerk is trying to kill me!
3. Feelings – Your feelings may become overwhelmed with a sense of fear, hurt or rage.
4. Behaviors – At this point you might blow your horn, make a gesture or blurt out a few choice words.
Anger is a learned response.
No one makes you angry-you choose to be angry.
People can learn to control and manage their anger.
Anger usually has its tap root in at least one of the following areas:
Guilt
Inferiority
Fear
Trauma
John recommends a simple, but very effective way to manage anger using the word TIME.
· T. think! – know your hot buttons.
· I. intercept impulses! – Review your anger history because we usually do anger the same way time after time-identifying these impulse patterns can help you more effectively manage them later.
· M. move away! If possible back off from the situation if you can.
· E. exit the premises! If you feel you may blow, then exit the premises physically remove yourself.
Have a question? email John
© 2004 John H. Thurman Jr. Get A Grip 320 H Osuna NE Albuquerque, NM 87107 505-345-2778
Tom & Beverly Rodgers, Christian Counseling Today , Vol. 8 no.2 (Summer 2000) 13.
Anger tip sheet
There are 3 broad styles of anger. The Exploder, The Passive-Aggressive, the Stuffer and though these styles of anger are unique in the way they present themselves the outcomes are usually the same.
Unresolved anger may be an underlying cause of many physical and emotional problems. People who use anger to get their way and force others to yield are affecting their own lives in many harmful ways. They soon find out that unrestrained hostility can be a costly, family and life-destroying habit. When angry people clear up resentments and bitterness in their lives, they resolve many of the other problems they are experiencing, particularly in their relationships at home at school, and at work.
Anger the Troublesome Emotion
Anger is a complex and confusing emotion, but much more than emotion. Since our primary awareness of anger is as an emotion, let’s start here. Anger is an emotion of displeasure, hurt, shame, pain, indignation, resentment, ill will, rancor, exasperation, or annoyance, all of which may range from mild to extreme. It manifests itself in criticizing, yelling, withdrawing, feelings of helplessness, shame, victimization, scorn, scolding, ridiculing, humiliating, despising, teasing, putting down, or more physical activity such as hitting, hurting, damaging, attacking, or in other ways bringing harm to the focus of one’s anger. With such a range of expression and outcomes, it is little wonder that we deny, cover, divert, displace, or seek to bury this troublesome emotion. The good news is that individuals can learn to manage anger and live a more peaceful and productive, purpose-filled life!
One may look at anger as an emotion that is experienced by the person, expressed verbally by the person, or acted out by the person.
The Components of Anger – these are the pieces of the puzzle when it comes to understanding the process of anger.
1. Trigger Events – these are situations that will cause us to become on edge like someone cutting you off in traffic.
2. Automatic Thoughts (usually irrational) – Once cut off you might begin to have some rather intense thoughts like, “This jerk is trying to kill me!
3. Feelings – Your feelings may become overwhelmed with a sense of fear, hurt or rage.
4. Behaviors – At this point you might blow your horn, make a gesture or blurt out a few choice words.
Anger is a learned response.
No one makes you angry-you choose to be angry.
People can learn to control and manage their anger.
Anger usually has its tap root in at least one of the following areas:
Guilt
Inferiority
Fear
Trauma
John recommends a simple, but very effective way to manage anger using the word TIME.
· T. think! – know your hot buttons.
· I. intercept impulses! – Review your anger history because we usually do anger the same way time after time-identifying these impulse patterns can help you more effectively manage them later.
· M. move away! If possible back off from the situation if you can.
· E. exit the premises! If you feel you may blow, then exit the premises physically remove yourself.
Have a question? email John
© 2004 John H. Thurman Jr. Get A Grip 320 H Osuna NE Albuquerque, NM 87107 505-345-2778
Tom & Beverly Rodgers, Christian Counseling Today , Vol. 8 no.2 (Summer 2000) 13.